How do you trust anybody else if the people closest to you, the people who are responsible in some way for your well-being, education, daily bread, and shelter, are the people who hurt you? The world goes on tilt when somebody close to you molests you. This planet becomes a very frightening place when you find out that an important person in your life is not trustworthy.
If you don’t trust people right now, don’t feel like a freak. Your reaction is pretty normal and appropriate. Trust is a very major issue for people who are sexually abused because sexual abuse is about breaking trust. Whoever abused you was most likely someone you trusted. If it was a person in your family, then you can probably relate to the trust issue very easily. What bigger break of trust can there be than for a family member to hurt another family member?
Learning how to trust again can take a very long time- not because you’re slow or because this is an insurmountable issue. Learning to trust takes time because you are learning to trust human beings, and they can screw up very easily- and very frequently. When trust has been broken in such a major way as sexual abuse, you begin to want the people in your life never to make mistakes, never to lose their temper, always to thing you are right, and to look a lot like Superman.
Sorry, but it’s not going to happen. In the normal course of a day, people are going to let you down, break their word, hurt your feelings, and do all kinds of other things that don’t encourage trust. The trick is learning how to trust people with all their faults and weaknesses. Be clear here: I’m not talking about the abuser; trusting the abuser again is a different issue all together. I am talking about your friends, adults in your life, teachers, all the people you come in contact with.
It’s not easy, and it does take time. But through good counseling and some trial and error, you will begin to find people who are truly trustworthy. Eventually you will give them the gift of your trust.
Source: How long does it hurt? by Cynthia L. Mather and Kristina Debye
